BOYS SHOULD BE BOYS - WEEK 9 CHAPTER 10

BOYS SHOULD BE BOYS: 7 SECRETS TO RAISING HEALTHY SONS by Meg Meeker, M.D.

This chapter really solidifies the importance of God in a boy's life, not just from a religious perspective (which is important!), but from a medical doctor that has visibly seen the positive results in her practice. There were a couple of parts that really impacted me in this chapter.

First, the part that talks about the best way parents can keep their sons happy is "to give their child a belief in God" really struck me. I have to interject that I struggle with the word "happy" in this phrase. I think a better choice of words would be "joyful" or "content in all situations." "Happy" typically is an emotion that is very temporal and ever-changing. With that minor adjustment, I would agree that this is the best thing we can do for our boys!

Second, I really loved the discussion about the internal/external relationship in our boys and how easily those internal elements can be hidden away never to see the light of day again when they are criticized or made fun of. Think about all those sweet, little things your boy would do or say that someone then told him were babyish. Think of all the beliefs and dreams that once rolled off his tongue easily until somebody made fun of him. There's maturing that is necessary. Resilience that has to form and develop to lead in this world. However, negative peer pressure can be so destructive in this area.

HOPE - I hope that my son reaches out to Jesus when he encounters difficulties in life, because it's not if that will happen, it's when! James 1:8 tells us about the "double-minded man unstable in all his ways."

LOVE - I hope my son knows real love in his life. The stuff that 1 Corinthians 13 is made of both as a boy and as a man.

TRUTH/SECURITY - I hope my son never stops his quest for the truth, because it is that very thing that builds the foundation of rock on which he can stand on in times of trial and tribulation. The rains fall, but the house still stands Jesus' parable tells us. Our boys need a house that stands, because his family, one day, will be looking to him for strength and leadership in all things.

GRACE - Is your son hard on himself? Mine is. You know what's interesting? He's quick to extend grace to others that he won't extend to himself. Can you relate? I think it's always good to stop our sons in these moments and ask them what they would say to a friend in the same situation and encourage them to take the same advice.

My take away from all this? As parents we need to stop reaching for external helps and reach more for the internal help, the God of the universe. Doing so points our sons in the direction of God. Guys, we're going to be tired. We're not always going to feel like doing what's important, but we have to make time for the things that have eternal value: family devotions, time to answer questions, church on Sunday mornings, prayer and reliance in all circumstances on God.

One last thing, Victor Frankl's Search for Meaning is well worth the read.

I'd love to hear your thoughts! Comment away!