BOYS SHOULD BE BOYS - WEEK 6 HALF OF CHAPTER 7 (PGS. 125 - 144)

BOYS SHOULD BE BOYS: 7 SECRETS TO RAISING HEALTHY BOYS by Meg Meeker, M.D.

It is so fun to run into you moms who are reading this book! I love hearing about how you are finding value and understanding in what is being said! This week is no different. In fact, this week is where the rubber hits the road for us moms, isn't it?

Do you need to relax? Does your son need to relax? Back off of all the running! (I'm talking to myself here!) I've been thinking back to my childhood. My summers were pretty low key. We lived in the middle of the woods, so there was lots of outdoor playing, and my mom took us to the library every couple of weeks to restock on reading material. We had a few key events that occurred each year that we couldn't wait for: vacation,

VBS, library reading program, etc. These things were big deals, because they were few and far between. Today, we finish one thing, and we're off to the next. My kids enjoy the activities, but their world doesn't hang on them, because there are so many. Miss such and such activity? Oh well, the next one's coming down the pike. But you know what my kids really love? I'm staring at the badminton net in the yard as I write this. They love when we play together in the evenings. They love board games and eating out on the back deck as a family. They love cuddling up on the coaches and watching a movie. Depending on what book I'm reading out loud, they may like read aloud time! They love family time together.

Regarding the story about nursing, I walked away with 2 things 1) It is important that we, as moms, take care of ourselves. I am not advocating lots of "me" time, but I am advocating "refill" time. What's the difference? I can honestly run myself to death doing "me" time as much as I can taking care of the family. I think we've all met moms who have ruined their health at times. Maybe I'm talking to one that has! It doesn't do anyone any good when we do that! Be sure and leave some refill time in your life! 2) No more putting rocks into each other's backpacks as to what we should and shouldn't be doing as moms. Trust me! If you have it all figured out, people will see that and come ask you questions about how you do things! When that happens, you can tactfully share! But no more putting pressure onto each other to keep up!

I have to spend a few minutes talking about the enmeshment, estrangement, overdependence, and unavailability that can happen in our relationships. We've all seen examples of these things. We've seen the affects of them. Honestly, you may have seen yourself in the pages as you read. The mom who has her life so wrapped up in her son that you can't tell where one ends and the other begins, the momma who every time she looks at her son she sees her abusive father or deadbeat husband, the momma who thinks her son can't take two steps without her, and the momma who's never home whether that's physically, mentally, or emotionally for her son. It's very clear that our sons NEED us but in a balanced way! We hold them tightly at the start, but little by little our fingers loosen on them. As a mom my job changes from nurturer to greatest cheerleader ever as they pursue their life's calling. I wish I could forever call them mine, but they're not. They're God's, and I must be willing to take my fingers off and let them fly!

Okay - enough of my thoughts! Let's hear from you!